For the Love of the Beagle and Abby's First Christmas

Because we are dog people, as opposed to people who own dogs (there is a difference), we have spent an inordinate amount of time looking for baby girl clothing with dogs instead of cats. We were none too successful until a friend turned us on to the Playful Puppies line at Gymboree. She bought the cute outfit that Abby had her first picture in, and we have since received and/or bought several others in various sizes. Doesn't Abby look cute hanging with her puppies!

And as for Abby's first Christmas, it went well but we didn't take any pictures. What horrible parents we are! We did get some video of her "opening" her gifts, but she spit up on her cute Christmas outfit rather quickly and became overstimulated with all the people and commotion. So, Dave and I spent the day trying to keep her calm rather than taking pictures. My mom and sister, however, took a number of shots so hopefully they got some good ones.

Abby and Chloe

Abby and Maggie

The Dark Side

It's official. We've joined the dark side. Become one of "them." What, you might ask, am I referring to? Ah, well you see we've become one of "those people" who live in the burbs, rarely go anywhere near nature, and yet own a gas-guzzling, eight passenger, behemoth of an SUV.

After Dave and I got married we got rid of his car when we realized we hadn't even driven it in several weeks. We had just replaced my old car with a nice new Honda Accord, and Dave's was getting to the point where it would need a lot of routine maintenance. Plus, we carpool to work together because our offices are only several blocks away from each other in downtown Sacramento, which is a 20 mile drive from our home. So in an effort to save ourselves some money on insurance, maintenance, etc. we sold Dave's car.

For the most part living with one car worked fairly well. Until Abby. We knew we would need two cars once she was born since Dave's commute is so long. We also realized that we needed more space -- it's impossible to transport a baby and two beagles in a family sedan, so we knew we needed something with more room. Thinking about the long-term, i.e. siblings, friends, and all of the kiddo accoutraments that seem to accumulate, we settled on the eight passenger Pilot. Now Dave can drive himself to work, and just as importantly, we can transport little Abby and our two beagle babies, Maggie and Chloe, together in one car.

Crabby Abby

We have many nicknames for our little girl... Abby, Abs, Abster, Abigirl (pronounced "Abby Girl"), Little One to name a few. My personal favorite, however, is Crabby Abby. With a mommy who is an attorney, and a daddy in politics, was there even a chance she'd be a mellow, laid back, quiet baby? Not so much. While it is sometimes hard to have such an active and loud baby I'm excited that our little girl may turn out to be a bit of a spitfire -- just like mom.


Our little Crabby Abby can go from this....



...to this in 2.5 seconds flat!

Bottle vs. Breast and Other Touchy Subjects

So I noticed something about myself at church on Sunday. Abby had started to fuss during service, so I took her into the "Nursing Mother's Room" to calm her down and feed her. Two other mothers were in there nursing their babies. As I whipped out my formula filled bottle I immediately began to wonder "what do these women think of me? Should I explain why I'm giving Abby formula instead of nursing?" Although I didn't do so right away, I was very careful to make sure that by the end of service they knew that the reason Abby is formula fed is because I couldn't nurse for a time after I had the procedure to stop my hemmorahging, and after Abby had a taste of the bottle nursing became virtually impossible. I also made sure to let them know that I really tried -- that I continued for ten days despite Abby's struggles and frustration, and that we shelled out the bucks to see a lactation consultant in the hopes that that would help.



Why the need to tell the whole story about my decision not to nurse? I thought about it afterward, and I realized that I was preempting the judgment I assumed these women would make about me. And I realized that I do it any time I make a decision that is not the "norm" or concerns a touchy subject. Case in point, my decision to go back to work full time after six months. But why the need to do so? I think it's because, especially as women, we do often judge other's decisions. So, even if these women weren't judging me, there are women out there who would -- and I've encountered them.



I think this tendency to judge is tragic. These types of parenting decisions -- bottle vs. breast, working vs. staying at home, public school vs. private school -- are all discretionary. One is not right and one is not wrong across the board. Simply put, to work outside the home, give your child a bottle of formula, or send her to public school is not sin. One might be right for one family, and the other right for another family. To judge a woman for making these choices just doesn't make sense, especially when the judging is done by a stranger or acquaintance who is not familiar with the whole situation and doesn't know the prayer and thought that may have gone into the decision. I doubt this issue will be resolved this side of heaven (don't we all love to judge?), but in the meantime I'm going to work on being comfortable with my decisions and not assume what others may or may not be thinking about me.



And just so no one forgets what she looks like, I've included a picture of the 14 lbs. 1 oz formula fed seven and a half week old from a couple weeks ago. At least we know she's not starving to death on formula!